mm mmm

"that girl is so in love with you,

and you're going to lose her"

ANYWHO !

hmmm schedule for tomorrow:

wake up

go to delilah's

pick up paycheck

work for a little

go home

present time ?

party time ?

we shall seeee

today was an alright day. nothang special i guess. i like my co-workers better when they're not co-workers. but when you get em outside, just to talk, it's cute. i was pretty pooped today after work so i took a napsy and fell asleep on all who i was texting. lol sowwy. right now i am waiting for the paint to dry. also listening to simple, starving to be safe. this juan's dedicated to you, ryan (: BAHAHA

gooooooooooood times !

GOOD

TIP

today was a good juan.

i was probably smiling almost the whole day (:

kinda had fun at work semi-ish lol.

but im slick, so i hide behind the chips and text bahaha.

had a nice convo with my bus driver today.

talked about the lakers and how i needs to find me a gentleman.

"have you ever been to one of those live games?"

"no i dont have the kinda money for thaaaat"

"what about one of your boyfriends?"

"no boys for me haha"

"well one of your guy friends"

"they don't have that kinda money eitherrr"

"well when guys really want something, they go for it"

"truuue"

he tells me i have to find someone who will spoil me just because.

not for any particular reason haha.

he's coooool.

he also loves the lakers, but doesn't like kobe lol.

had a nice day, and i am proud of them (:

okay goodnight !

a quote

"time passes. even when it seems impossible. even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. it passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. even for me."

that is a very good quote from twilight (: bella swan was a fighter. 

blah blah blah. i've been good lately. this is fun.

back in LA

which gives me time to blog (:

im sitting here with some earyl grey and the new mini teapot i bought myself form this litto asian markett. yum yum in my tum tum ! ive been saying that alot lately haha. cause there's so much good food around me lately. failure though cause i need to cut back on foods ! interesting last couple of days. new close friends in my life (: this is fun haha. im kindaaa looking forward to finding a new job?! i wanted yogurtland. but maaaaybe joghurt since i can walk there ! lol kinda makes me laugh. i want friday because that equals PAYCHECK (: should be around $600, thank you (: i got a good weekend, so i am happy. i bet alotta people like that change (: haha

k love love !

well well (:

i had fun last night (:

and friday night.

friday was the beach and hung out with some of my favorite girls (:

it was also bryan's shiang's bday thingy which was interesting haha

drunk water polo players ? haha

last night was tinanana's little kickback thingy.

haha freaking had a little devil on my shoulder.

bahaha but he might not remember by the morning.

i haven't blogged in a little while.

i think i need to find  new job.

yogurt land possibly ?

i dono we'll see.

i need suggestionssss !

untitled

nothang special.

but i am home now !

fun fun tomorrow ?

all weekend, please.

and i'd like to see the beach.

"but i know that

i was put here

to fight vikings 

in the cold war

with my arms out

in the front line

singing dare me 

dare me"

BUS DRIVERRR

MY BUS DRIVER I SUPER DUPER !

he finally asked me how old i am, and we had a nice little convo all the way home.

15 minutes of talking was fun. 

he told be that i look super young for my age, which is expected lol.

i couldn't catch his name because that bus is so effing loud.

i woulda asked him to repeat his name for the 384972th time, but i felt back.

ill ask again tomorrow.

what i know so far:

he has been driving buses for 18 years.

he will be driving for another 5 years, and then will go on his permanent vacation (possibly vegas)

he has 2 kids, and their kids have 11 kids combined !

making him a grandfather of many lol

haha he asked me why i have  no boyfriend, and i told him that guys are way too much trouble.

"what aspect about them is trouble?"

EVERYTHING, i said (:

he told me that guys should not wait til a special holiday, like mothers day or christmas, to get their special someone a special something.

the best time are when you get them something for no reason in perticular.

when it's a surprise.

he's very right because that would be greatly appreciated. haha

not that i would want that all the time.

we're gonna finish our convo tomorrow.

i had a nice day, in the end, even though it was stupid in the beginning (:

you know ?

it's nice to be known by people.

at school, today and yesterday, two people asked me if they could take a picture of me for their trends class.. i guess im trendy (:

security guards and other staff members call me by my name

two people asked me for my name.

i had 2 good convo's with people i didnt know.

and my bus driver smiled and said "see you tomorrow"

he's not a smile and say hello type-a-guy.

but he see's me tuesdays-thursdays to pick me up at around 445 after work.

it's very nice.

lyric of the day:

so let's go back to the first day that i met you

(:

i think i've reached happy (:

or at least im almost there.

i love the ones who have stayed with me

NO MATTER WHAT.

i told myself i would be happy again.

and so this is what happy feels like, huh?

now i just have a few things to patch up.

cant wait til..

p.s. tonight was interesting

double p.s. this is what happens when you go on flickr

and type in "dont worry, be happy":

sunday

REWIND !

erased my blog.

no more being all emotional.

im better now.

beach memorial day monday !?

OKAY GOOD THANK YOU.

these things take time, love.

these things take backbone.

make sure you're not fighting for nothing.

and now

went to the americana with dad.

shopped a little.

bought presents a little.

stupid me.

deposited my paycheck at some ghetto B of A.

currently home alone, the way i like it.

just me, my music, and my mac.

its the morning

Love Me Tender lyrics:

love me tender, love me sweet,

never let me go.

you have made my life complete,

and i love you so.

love me tender, love me true,

all my dreams fulfill.

for my darling, i love you

and i always will.

really simple, but sweet.

straightforward

horoscope:

you can't make someone feel a certain way about you. you wouldn't want to anyways-- remember that old chestnut about being careful what you wish for? other opportunities will come along.

fry day

we call him miami..

or obama shirt guy.

arthur called me a big pussy haha

and that mother eff is right -__-

today was a good 5 hours at work.

justin says i have OCD and he feels bad for my future children.

i cant help wanting to make things perfect, sheesh !

thanks to breaking boxes, i have little cuts all over my hands.

most of the time i don't find them til i wash my hands and i feel it sting.

up side ! i got my paycheck !

without taxes: $463.25

with those damn taxes: $441. 38

not too bad..

in two weeks, it'll be BIGGER and i will officially be getting paid $9.00 an hour.

i've been cleaning and rearranging my room like crazy.

i really like what i've done.

i tried to nail something on the wall-- failure -__-

now i just have a slightly noticeable hole in my wall.

won't be in walnut at all this weekend.

i need a break from unnecessary uhmm.. drama.

thursday

The Like: The One Lyrics

I'm not shouting 

I'm just talking 

You're not listening 

You're just looking 

Take one in to 

Get another 

In one ear and 

Out the other 

I'll stop here 

I'll stay there 

I'll never be 

The one you love 

im okay though, i promise !

i just thought these lyrics were very fitting lol

whensday

i wish i could wear shorts to work. i have to be all covered up. not to mention it's as cold as a freezer in there. i wanna find a new 

job but i probably wouldn't find another place to pay me $9,

give me 8 hour shifts every day of the week, and one this easy. it's also at school, so getting there is no biggie. filling out all this financial aid stuff is a pain in the butt. ohwell.. paycheck this friday.

should be a good $400-$500 so all is well (: i'm staying off that birth control. makes me moody and emotional. so far, i feel really good. less depressed. and all of this drama.. i think i can brush it off my shoulder now. 

p.s. i think i get a puppy soon !

ugh that would make me so so so happy

except.. i still miss you, chirpo ):

i hope you're alright wherever you are.

i didnt want to give you away ):

love you, puppy.

even though you cant read this.

LA

people have been asking me if i want to marry them alot this week

haha not seriously, of course, so its funny.

today i made use of my camera.

i took pictures of my way home.

just a tid bit

a little bit concerned.

this is not normal.

not normal at all..

and it could mean so many things !

dijfoifj what tha heck dude.

anyways, today was alright.

jealous co-workers are dumb.

maybe if you would do work, the managers would like you more.

dont blame me for being hard-working ??

sometimes, you can forgive people for what they've done and said.

sometimes you cant.

this applies to more than one person as of today.

when you're angry, you say things.

but you shouldn't say THOSE types of things.

regret will never leave my mind.

people make mistakes.

if i let it go, will you?

men are from mars, women are from venus

then she paused, and her eyed filled up with tears. as her tone shifted she said, "right now im in pain. i have nothing to give, this is when i need you the most. please, come over here and hold me. you dont have to say anything. i just need to feel your arms around me. please dont go."

no i cant let go

time apart

back to LA

you know,

i've had my heart broken by a lot of different people in my life.

it hurts like hell, but its inevitable.

may 8

i guess after the storm blows over,

there really is a brighter side.

but we'll see.

may 6

today was one of my better days.

thank you (:

JUSTINE BACOSA, I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU !

vanna carmela ryan thank you for a juanderful time.

fergie, you are my newest hero

to them

it's crazy, the way things turn out.

it's crazy when you cant trust the ones or one you trusted.

it's better to be the bigger person.

so i quit at trying to please everyone else.

ill work at getting MYSELF back on track first.

if no one believes me, at least i know myself.

i talked to two of my best friends tonight.

and they really helped me.

and even through my slump, through my negativity, through my sadness, they were there for me no matter what, and still are here.

they will never leave me or talk behind my back.

no matter how crazy i may drive them, they love me enough to listen.

they are all i needed to help me pull through.

they love me..

and i love them more than words could say.

i hate this

im just going to be invisible.

for i am human, and you are human too

i hate to admit it,

but i miss you.

wish that song was about me.

those 3 words i wanna say keep haunting me.

stupid.

i wonder if you feel what i feel.

dont like how things have to be different.

i wanna settle down and find "the one."

how lame, but i really do.

im just that type of girl.

went to church today

saw kitty, nadia &the bebeh, carmela &the family.

it was cute.

then went to pho..

and that one lady is back !

right when me and kees walked in,

she said "same thing? 2 21's ?"

aww i was so happy.

i asked her where she's been and she said that she delivered her baby !

aww and she showed us a picture, and he is the cutest little thing ever.

of course all babies are precious (:

now im home, preparing to go back to LA tonight.

ill be there all by myself until wednesday or thursday.

tonight

tonight was a good one.

hooray for staying sober.

i ALMOST gave in, but i was a good child.

for the most part !

happy birthday, aileeny i love you !

i got juan real good hug.

i miss those kinds.

the genuine kinds that make you feel good.

i hope everyone got home alright !

goodnight loves of my life.

grey's

just watched the most recent episode of grey's

FML, SERIOUSLY.

"what are you?

you know..

just a choke em and forget em kinda guy?"

all this grey's is making me realize how much

i miss saying "i love you"

and i miss hearing "i love you" right back.

laaast night

first of all, yes joseph i was at the movie theater too

thanks ): haha

got back from LA last night around 830

went to starbuck`s with vanna kees and met up with allen kev and pawwl.

then went with matty and waited for him in his car til he finished changing.

went to watch the mmmmmovie with everyjuan.

didnt get the chance to say herro to everyjuan there though.

so sorry.

i WOULD have a dream about the dream i had last night.

it was one of the worst dreams ever !

and ashley wademan was in it ?! ughh.

never wanna dream about that again.

get outta my dreamsssss :/

i dont really want you to, but i want you to.

no, im not talking about ashley wademan haha

i want her out please. its just weird.

oh please be a good day to me.

doctor's appointment.

let me get my chest pains checked outt.

i hope im alrightt.