boring, sorry.

erased my previous post.

OMG

FML

): ): ):

my very accurate horoscope

"your smiles have no meaing,

laughter has no sound,

and heart forgets to beat

as you miss the company"

i miss my friend.

i want to talk to him.

maybe that's a bad idea.

but arguing is not what i like to do.

i was a very happy girl today at work.

hello, raise.

normal day in LA

worked an 8 hour shift,

walked to my bus stop,

had a weirdie sit next to me on the bus

(he had a PIGEON in his bag and asked him if he wanted to see a pretty lady.. aka me. this was the first time i was not flattered from being called pretty),

walked the rest of the way home,

read eclipse and finished it,

i-chatted wiff cheryl,

sat in bed listening to music, pondering.

which now brings me to blogging.

"i'll always be waiting in the wings, bella."

just freaking get over it already, pun.

what's wrong with me ?

this morning, i woke up to a sharp pain around my chest area.

it felt like a bullet went through me

because the pain was also directly behind my aching chest area

leading to my back.

i couldn't really breathe and was aching for a few minutes.

then a fell asleep again.

sunday morning i yawned

and then got a cramp in my neck.

it was horrid.

today i cut my hands twice,

burnt myself with hot water twice,

and broke my freaking nail -__-

that's what i call a hard day's work ! haha

it was alright, i was a trooper through it all.

im used to getting random cuts on my hands from work.

it sucks, but ill survive !

also, i have a big pimple stress pimple on my forehead !

and it wont leave because i forgot to put pimple stuff on it last night.

or i was just to immersed in my book (:

and now i am finally home, sitting on the floor in my white tee (:

i was on the phone last night until 2am.

i have a lot of things that i need to deal with.

a lot of things that i just need to forget.

life isn't fair, and i know that.

but i keep asking myself why.

i want to know why life is unfair.

i want to know how you got over it so quickly,

so that i can finally do the same.

i want to know how long it will take me to be happy again.

i want to know if i will ever TRULY be happy again.

i don't know..

i'd just like to know a lot of things.

i hate that despite how much i dislike you right now,

i'd still like to hear the sound of your voice ):

dream

my mom said that this morning, while i was sleeping,

i let out a loud cry, like i was scared.

i couldn't remember having any nightmares.

but i could remember him being in my dream.

and that is all.

easter was good.

finally saw my familia after a while.

the WHOLE family.

the cousins were finally complete.

all 7 girls and 1 boy were present.

it was nice.

now i'm back in LA.

back to reading eclipse.

nothang special.

or i just don't want to talk about it.

im quite content

daily horoscope:

"accept things the way they are--instead of wasting time complaining about them"

"sometimes i think some of the things you say

you get from a book or something"

hahaha last night i hung out with 2 of my favorite boys (:

these two are capable of making me the happiest girl on earth sometimes.

stayed up talking until a little past 3am, which is always fun.

i think i've made up my mind,

and im really gonna try hard this time.

because i am so sick of wanting you back,

and then hating your guts.

and then wanting you back again..

and then hating your guts again !

i never know what i want -___-

today should be a good day, i hope !

also, rip, jon.

i know that today is that day.

i hardly knew you,

but from all of these things i've read and seen,

you seemed like such a wonderful and lively person.

your friends love you and miss you, which im sure you know.

please have a nice time up there !

leifjhlah

I DONO,

IM JUST SO CONFUSED

i don't like

there are so many questions in my head that go unanswered.

and im just too scared to ask.

i am too scared of both

 what the answer might be,

and scared to make you angry from my

 "no question is a dumb question" questions.

even though i'm pretty sure i know what the answers will be,

i'm still curious to know the REAL answers.

in my head, i have the RIGHT answers..

i know what i WANT to hear.

but will that really be what i get out of it?

maybe i need to stop being such a curious george.

ughh,

maybe we would never work out again

because you are such a JERK

fuhhh -___-