i have a gut feeling that this birthday is going to be terrible. 8 more days. and i don`t know what to expect. i have my birthday wish all set up, and i really hope that it comes true. but who knows if it really will. i can remember this time last year. everything was so perfect. we were so happy. i was surrounded by friends and family who love me. not that i don`t have friends who love me now, but everyone is so distant. especially the person i was closest to. but i hope to god that everything will be okay asap !

the highlight of my day was finding $5 on the floor, and that`s sad.
but i guess talking to jess and crystal and mystery person made it a little better.
today wasn`t complete.
i feel so incomplete. and so hurt.
but i`m trying to leave it up to that one person to fix.
i honestly feel that i have tried my hardest.
and there is nothing else i can do but wait.

trying to be strong is difficult.
i just WISH i mattered to you again !

i quite like the weather.