really quickly

before i leave to shop with matty,

last night was..

i'm not really sure ?!

write more about it later !

went shopping with matty !

got a new bathing suit, hat, flannel, and skirt (:

im quite the happy camper !

and he got game stuff and a new shirt from target (:

k so i had an interesting night last night sorta.

had an hour long conversation.. a little bit longer.

it was a VERY unexpected phone call.

but i'm glad he knows he can still trust me.

ill always be there no matter what happens.

he asked me if i hated him, so i told him the truth.

"honestly, yes i do"

i couldn't lie to him so i told him sometimes.

it's not entirely true though.

i don't think i hate him exactly..

but it's that i feel like i hate him because of everything that i've gone through.

but despite all of the pain and tears, i still do love him.

i couldn't tell him that last part though.

i wasn't about to tell him i still love him and scare him away.

not that i have him again though, right ?

but yes, i'm kind of glad that happened.

i'm glad i got to hear that familiar voice.

he also think that i'm happy and that i sound great.

that's not true though, cause i still feel a little miserable every now and then.

but i couldn't tell him the truth about that.

haha that woulda been a dumb move !

overall, im happy with the way i handled it all.