i'm a lazy and just woke up

so this morning,

i realized that it's already been about 3 months.

meaninggg, i'm freaking stupid for still holding on,

but it's okay cause i'm getting better.

it was still kinda crazy when i thought about it though.

to think that i've been hoping and praying that something would happen til about 2 weeks ago.

i held on for that long ?

i must be a big dummy -____-

and i apologize to my friends for being such a debbie downer sometimes.

but sometimes when people are in too deep,

there's no helping the situation.

i was clearlyyyy in too deep, and couldn't help myself.

3 months later, i still wonder and i still sort of wish there was a chance.

but i'm beginning to accept it.

maybe God did this to me for good reason.

maybe he's got someone else out there for me.

even though i doubted that there could be anyone else at all,

maybe there is. i sure hope there is.

some days are my confident days,

some days my heart still hurts,

and some are just the days where i would like to sit down and think.

let's hope today's a good day.