asdf,

a bit disappointed
a bit depressed
a bit hurt

a lot forgotten.

at least i met the hottest gay man ever today !
&he noticed me.
what a wasttte ):
OHWELL he's tight !

i miss my guy though

another stupid day

i jumped out of my seat
because i thought the text would be from you.

what a let-down

im so lost

that`s really all i can manage to say right now.
& "sorry"

asdfgvhjkjhgfds

half an hour later
i've managed to get one sentence:
i dont want to go to bed
because i keep thinking that if i stay awake,
something good will happen.

"just know you cant be empty unless youve once been full."
once upon a time, i was full. full of happiness. full of love.

now i`m empty.

i wish you could just GET ME. you don`t understandddd ! please respond to me at least. it`s like it goes straight through your head. have you checked out or something ? it`s not the same.. i don`t understand it. i REALLY don`t. i feel a little under-appreciated. sometimes i wish you read these. so maybe you could understand me. i tell you everything. tell you how i feel. it`s not easy for me. &when i spill my heart out to you, you just don`t say anything. NOTHING. you just disregard it.. like i said nothing at all to you. like what i said didn`t matter. what`s the point in trying to tell you anything anymore? if i tell you how i feel, i`m "attacking" you. WHAT`S THE POINT ??!

GOING BACK TO LA TONIGHT.
LIKE IT REALLY MATTER, RIGHT ?

i'd like to mean SOMETHING to SOMEBODY again.
i wanna be more important than BEER PONG.
i wanna feel like im worth the world to someone.
i want to be missed.

LAME-OOOOO !

is it lame that i feel accomplished for finally getting my permit ?
(: bahaha well.. i do ! so
im in a very happy mood. thank goodness.
but i woke up at 7 in the morn !
but its k cause i had cheryl.
that big loser (:
thank goodness she forced me to get my permit.
that silly sally.

i hope no one kills my happiness today.
i think its gonna be a good day !
not a complete let-down, at least

(((:

yesterday, after being forced to come out from under my rock was good. &today was good. i`m a big stupid. &i shouldn`t get mad at my "man friend" so much (: i love him to death.. but he can really PISS ME OFF sometimes (: but i learn to love it. bahaha. things are better. i sure hope i can keep this up !


&of course, it didnt work.

one day, maybe.