Tuesday, August 31, 2010
i hate getting that feeling when it seems like my whole body is going numb. when i see something related to that special someone i had feelings for, my heart sinks all the way down to my toes. i have to take a deep breathe, just to remember that it is not the end of the world. and although it may make me want to cry, i hold back my tears and remember that it is not worth it anymore. i can't live in the past any longer. but it is ALWAYS easier said than done. baby steps.
Monday, July 19, 2010
my mom said to find a boy who makes me feel special. i know that i dont need to be spoiled and i dont need to be given the world, but i would like to feel that i am something special to someone. i would like to feel appreciated for the little things that i do to help make the relationship a relationship. that is all!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
someone tweeted about moving out today, and then all of a sudden i got the feeling of nostalgia. i went back real quick to the night before i moved to la. two years ago around this same date. spent the entire day with my someone special. cried, even though we didnt think we would. those were the days where we thought that we could make a "long distance relationship" work out. it was crazy. for a second, i felt the happiness of being with him again.. while we were sad together. we didnt think it'd end. but it did for a reason. and it's okay now. im okay now. it was just really weird getting that feeling all over again even though it was just a quick trip down memory lane. i almost cant remember how it was to be with him and how much i loved him. feels like it was forever ago.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
"you could have been a part of a masterpiece"
it honestly just makes me so angry some days. that he didn't really give it a chance to let things get better. as soon as things got bad, he was always the first to give up. if i wasn't funny/happy/smiling pun, he didn't want me. i wasn't enough, i suppose. there are so many mean and angry things that i could say right now, but im trying to hold back. ughhh dfhlkjdhglkghkaejv. i dont want to love him anymore, it isnt fair.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
reachin for the phone cause i cant fight it anymore.
and i wonder if i ever cross your mind.
for me it happens all the time.
it's a quarter after one
im all alone, and i need you now.
said i wouldn't call
but i lost all control, and i need you now
-Need You Now,