6 30 09

i guess i shouldn't expect so much.

is it a bad thing that i sort of do though ?

i cant really help it.

im sort of lost and confused.

i dont like it.

i wish i were a mind reader.

or that you could express things more clearly.

blehh im drinking tea, so im calm.

back to work tomorrow.

finally.

paycheck tomorrow too.

my next few paychecks will probably be really weeeeeeak.

i've missed out on more than a week of work.

im kinda excited to go back.

kind of excited for school too.

hopefully i can switch my classes around.

bleh

6 29 09

haven't blogged in ten days

i thought maybe blogging would jinx things.

i guess its kinda the same.

siiiigh

6 19 09

scared as a mother

and i cant explain why

its like all of the bad stuff is coming back.

but you cant blame me for being this way.

i think i feel unwanted.

scared scared scared

6 16 09

kinda boring lately.

work was okay today..

i laughed until i cried with one of my managers.

yesterday talked to romeo and that other guy about how we hate when people bag on FIDM and its students.

you think that we won't get anywhere ?

well thanks for the motivation !

proving everyone wrong will be my pleasure.

trying to get back to school for the summer but all kinds of financial crap keeps getting in the way. hopefully i get it and will take 3 or 4 classes.

other than that, things are kinda changing..

VERY VERY SLOWLY.

so im kinda bored.

i wanna say how i feel but can't really explain it.

the weather was nice today

thank goodness.

6 14 09

i had a good time last night

THE END !

6 11 09

you think that i have no faith.

you think that i have no faith when i am the one trying.

you're the one with the lack of faith IN ME.

you ALWAYS think that im trying to start an argument when you cant even see that i have been trying so hard to prevent that.

all i said was "thanks" and you told me not to get all "crazy" on you.

last time i got into a little argument with you and you told me that it was like i was on the pill all over again.

please think about that and realize how much that can hurt a person.

i am NOT the person i was maybe a month or two ago, thank you very much.

i was NOT born to argue with people all day long.

but i DO get frustrated and i cant help that.

but the fact that YOU say it and the fact that you assume i am going to blow up and argue with you really hurts.

i AM NOT the one with the lack of faith here.

i told you, i never ever get what i want.

;ieutuetiuer annoyed

it's not even fair liwjlwifjliwjf

im so nice to you

and i get you stuff all the time

i even offered to help you pay for your car if you cant.

i cant just go over to see the puppy ?

ygefchiouaelhflvio; this is stupid.

i just want to play with him.

better days

maybe its not what i thought.

it changes from day to day.

and its so so confusing.

why can't this be more simple !?

why can't people just tell me the truth.

say what you mean, and it's done with.

no big deal.

despite the crappiness talked about above,

things have actually been better lately.

who knows if it will really keep up though.

im crossing my fingers,

but its not entirely up to me.

..

i feel like i have a lot to think about

when's day.

hmm

i need to do some deep thinking.

im a little really stressed these days.

school and work and other crap.

maybe i dont want anyone..

some days i do.

bleh aanywho !

walnut grad tomorrow if my mama can pick me up on time.

and then on friday, it's tattoo time.

here i cooome (:

how exciting.. im gonna cry like a baby lol.

saturday is cousin's grad party.

let's see how the weekend goesss.

my week hasn't been going so hot :/

people notice.

"ive got my mouth

its a weapon

its a bombshell

its a cannon"

june 2

started good

ended bad.

looks like the whole week is gonna be gloomy.

the next TWO weeks actually.

checked on weather.com

sad sad

i have alot of crap to deal with.

dkfvakjcfla as if i didnt already have enough.

happy birthday :/

havent blogged

waowww

so the whole time in my last blog,

i had that quote wrong and i never noticed.

i fixed it now.

it was sposed to say

"that girl is so in love with you,

and you're going to lose her."

failure, haha.

my weekend was a good juan. i got to see everyone i wanted, i think (: hopefully this week goes by fast. i have a feeling it will! things have gotten alot better. friendships stronger. co-workers are better lol. i got my last paycheck on friday. i made $621 but only got $571 cause of taxes. but its alright, ill get it back. i coulda gotten my fit yesterday.. but i didnt. its okay cause ill save more money and shtuff first. then ill have to pay less in the end. please let this week be a good juan.

kdhufkahfj maybe not :/

"relax and have faith"