7 30 09

ugh was there even a point to that ?

please just dont say things when you dont mean them

or dont plan on fulfilling them.

i wanna know why people lie.

i dont think there's really such a thing as lying for the benefit of someone else. because the truth seems to always come out. so instead of coming out with one bad thing, two bad things happen ! its whatever happened in the first place PLUS the lie that they just told. bleh.

i really dont like that crap.

and i hate hate hate broken promises.

7 29 09

i mean i should be used to this, right ?

so today:

i found out i STILL can't get my tattoo -____-

i saw a tall dark-haired boy with blue eyes. omg, i think i fell in love. too bad ill never see him again lol

i fell asleep at 8 so hopefully ill still be able to fall asleep again after this blog ):

kjfgklefjhka i just don't know.

an interesting question keeps coming up..

from random people.

and it's really starting to make me THINK.

7 27 09

uhmm

can someone kinda tell me what's going on ?

k thanks !

"we could pretend that we are friends tonight

and in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright

cause baby, we dont have to fight

and i dont want this love to feel like a

BATTLEFIELD."

hahaha

7 24 09

one thing that i absolutely hate is liars.

i just don't understand, really.

and it really makes me angry.

whatever today will be better cause:

1. im going to dye my hairs

2. im going to disneyland with best friend

3. i should be expecting a text message today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND I LOVE YOU !

7 22 09

serydtfyjgkjhkjl well.

before i go to bed, let me say this:

i guess that's what i get.

but what can i do, right ?

ill just learn to be patient and accept things.

even though they may turn out shitty and not the way i wanted.

hahaha ill just laugh it all off.

wooh, some things just push my buttons.

a little.

alot.

GREAT.

7 21 09

i ache for who we were.

7 20 09

i don't need any "space" and i've had enough time.

i have known what i've wanted since the beginning.

but if it's too much for you and you STILL don't know after all this time,

then just forget it and move on.

because obviously THIS isn't what you want or need.

just stop holding me back.

when you know what you want, let me know.

but who knows if i'll be there.

i'm trying to be much stronger this time around.

movies i NEED to watch:

1. HARRY POTTER

2. THE UGLY TRUTH

3. THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE

4. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER

5. AWAY WE GO

yeahhh, some of em are already out.

i guess i just never got around to watching them.

or well.. yeahh.

anyone's welcome to watch with me !

7 19 09

i dont really understaaand,

what the eff is going on.

ifhuvgaihfgu i cant even explain things fully.

im kind of at a loss for words.

hopefully this week is a good one and goes by fast.

im kinda scared.

im gonna miss things..

but i hope you're happy with your decision

im dying to know how you're feeling.

when i really shouldn't.

im giving you your space.

giving you what you wanted.

this is difficult.

i cant just go crawling back like i usually do.

maybe someone will come after me this time.

well a girl can dream

7 18 09

im allowed to be scared.

a promise in the dark

Listen…

Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it

It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings

The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it

This can’t work anymore, than you believe it

Goodbye may come as a shock

Even though I love you a lot

I’ve given every breath I’ve got

Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart

To how many times we fell apart

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me

Divided by so many memories

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

Listen…

I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is

Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it?

All these promises are probably how you deal with it

I’m tired of hearing you say your innocent

Don’t think I forgot

Because I really didn’t, who cares if you’re lieing or not

I’ve given every breath I’ve got

Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart

To how many times we fell apart

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me

Divided by so many memories

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

We all make mistakes

Sometimes we do desperate things

What does it prove? NOTHING

And you never do nothing wrong

Then what took you so long, took you so long

Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on

And how many times I gave my heart

To how many times we fell apart

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me

Divided by so many memories

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

So don’t promise me

7 17 09

i never know.

so indecisive.

GRAVITY

4 signs

not easy

break down

torn

i really like my myspace song. i've listened to it about ten times every night for a week straight. so school hasn't been so bad. there is only one class out of four that i dislike. marketing events. its about event planning and such. not for me. but im required to take it anyways. effective speaking isn't so bad. i know one person in the class. my teacher said we were a very good looking class right after we went up to inform the class about each other. pretty cool. lighting techniques should be fun when i make a light fixture out of recycled goods. computer graphics is whatever. im bad at photoshop but i like it better than illustrator. hopefully i can balannce everything. work is still a drag but we've gotten new workers so hopefully ill end up being less tired. and now im home in westco/walnut. feeling the way i often but shouldn't feel. hmm i suppose ill survive though. things never turn out exactly right. people wanna be noticed. today i had to walk one giant block to my bus stop because the sidewalk by my house was coned off. i don't think ill be attending the game on sunday. first one ill miss. sort of sad.

7 13 09

at the cafe today:

"do you need anything ?"

"i need lots of things.. but you guys cant give it all to me"

haha i thought that was funny.

k that's all !

7 11 09

i thoughttttt.

joke's on me, i spose !

7 7 09

some people enjoy drama and gossip all day long.

maybe you have to start realizing things from other peoples' outlooks.

maybe i was wrong for letting people see things through my eyes.

or maybe i wasn't.

i was forgetting too.

but was it wrong that i wanted people to know how i felt?

oh well.

not everyone has the same opinions and personalities.

and im not trying to be mean or rude..

im just trying to be real.

7 5 09

let down

frustrated

upset

blue

hurt